Hello again!
Today, I wanted to touch upon infertility and bring awareness to this issue as I feel America does a terrible job supporting families going through this. Infertility as some of you may know, is not being able to get pregnant despite having carefully timed unprotected sex for one year. Now that is the medical definition, but most would consider it any difficulties at all trying to conceive a child. For some reason, the medical community feels infertility only starts after 1 year of trying, but for a person trying on one day 1 or day 365 and beyond, trying to have a child is one of the most stressful situations imaginable.
In the United States, 10% to 15% of couples are infertile. That means over 30-50 million people in the United States have difficulties getting pregnant or may never get pregnant. To put it in perspective, there is a higher likelihood of you have infertility issues than you are experiencing and or dying from chronic lower respiratory diseases, stroke, alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, influenza and pneumonia, kidney disease and accidents (unintentional injuries). That is insane to think about!!! I will say it again. You are more likely to have infertility issues than getting one of those illness or issues and dying from them.
So then why do you not treat this the same. Why do we not have awareness commercials for it on TV, health awareness days or months, celebrities speaking out about it, why is this issue, as serious and common as it is, not being talked about 24/7 like say heart disease. So again, I will ask why, why is this not a bigger issue that is getting the support it needs, not only medically but mentally.
Personally, it seems that the US thinks it is the “best” at having kids. I feel this way by how the media portrays families and children. The ads on TV, TV shows and Movies depicted birth, parenthood and newborns as a common occurrence in our everyday society. I’ll give you a minute to google and find me a show or movie where the parents of the show are having issues with getting pregnant. Come back in 60 seconds…….
Ok you are back great! I am guessing it was probably not the easiest to find more than a dozen shows or movies. I personally only found 5. Sure, some exist, but do the same search for chronic lower respiratory diseases, stroke, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, influenza and pneumonia, kidney disease and accidents (unintentional injuries) and you’ll find thousands of shows and movies with a main character having one of these issues. I feel this way because infertility can be considered very depressing and anxiety provoking and hard to create that signature “Hollywood” feel good ending.
While the end of The Notebook is very sad, as we find out the wife has Alzheimer’s disease, we soon realize they lived a long happy life together, had children and grew old together as we see the male lead visit his wife in the dementia ward loving each other one more time, aka the perfect Hollywood feel good ending.
While you may not die from infertility you are living with the knowledge you may never have biological children, and that is a depressing and traumatic thought to live with for the rest of your life. If you have watched or seen any of the shows with this issue, it is a traumatizing event for those lead characters, even if they do end up having a child, AKA not a perfect Hollywood ending, instead a real life ending.
What I have seen as a therapist is the lasting effects it can have on a person. The wear and tear mentally of trying your hardest to have a son or daughter, to be a parent, and continue a legacy for your family is draining and traumatic. It takes everything out of a person to try and go through all the rounds of treatments to try and encourage your body to have a child. And round after round after round of trying and having no luck, your mind, body and soul just break down and you cave in. Even if you have a child, there is always that trauma in the back of your mind, of how hard it was to get pregnant and have your child.
I was lucky to have a child, and be a parent, but I have friends who have had a hard time getting pregnant, or still are having a hard time and it hurts to see them struggle. I want to do more for not only my friends but anyone else having this issue, so I have been offering my services to those who are in the muck of trying to become parents as I feel there is not enough mental health support out there for this population.
I also want to bring this idea to the forefront and to have more people be aware of this problem in America, as too many people go through these issues and need the help. So please, if you know of anybody who went through this issue, and it either took a long time to have a child, or they still are having issues, please offering a helping hand in any way possible. Trust me, they will take that hand and appreciate any support.